Conversation that you never want.

Hello, this is your Inner Voice speaking.
Oh boy, this could be trouble.
I read your manuscript and find it promising interesting good.
Thanks, I think.
Your writing is intriguing and still lacks something.
Wait a minute. If you are my Inner Voice, where were you when I wrote my ms?
I just returned from a three-year vacation in Germany.
Therefore, I can call you my Missing Voice.
Exactly--Hey, that is not fair--you tricked me.
Exactly. What do you mean my story lacks something?
It is a cute story with a twist; however, your antagonist is a retarded fish!
Fish, there is no stinking fish in my novel. What book did you read?
Moby Fish, something along that line. I remember now, it was about a big fish.
Sounds like you did more that take a vacation in Germany. How much beer did you absorb?
Belch!
I thought so. I wonder if you are even my Inner Voice. My Inner Voice would be discussing style, character development, plot and dialogue. You know, topics pertaining to my writing skills. I believe you have been in Germany for more than 3 years.
Herman, it was only yesterday that I visited Deutschland.
Ah Ha, you have not read my novel. My name is David and your writer was Herman Melville; he passed away in 1891. You have been wandering aimlessly among writers for over a hundred years. My Inner Voice has been silent and I am guessing that is an indication that I have not made any major writing mistakes. You need a new writer to bother help. Read my mind and go help that person.
Thank you for clearing this up for me. I will leave now…ACQ here I come!
Boy--that was a narrow escape. Imagine my surprise when he confused me with the great Herman Melville. I believe I will work on my novel.
David, this is your Inner Voice. We need to talk.